Fifty Shades of Loneliness
by HappyCup
Summary: Ana has to choose how to best handle a difficult situation, attempting to do what is best for her family as well as herself. Rating may change.
1. Chapter 1

Ana sat upright at the table. A glass of water sat next to her left hand, and a manila folder sat directly in front of her. Her phone buzzed from inside her purse, which she had resting on her lap.

"Yes? Really? Good. About how much longer would you say till he's here? Really? That soon? I thought that you were going to give me more of a warning. No, I understand, he's a hard man to keep track of." She smiled sadly as she said this last sentence. A few weeks ago she had no idea how true that statement was. "Thank you for your help, Andrea. I wish you all the best. Goodbye."

Ana ended her call with her husband's P.A. The woman had grown on her through the years; her intimidation with having such a beautiful woman working so closely with her husband diminishing with many trips to Christian's office. Andrea was always so sweet to Ana, even minding Teddy when he was very small (before he became mobile) so she and her husband could enjoy a peaceful lunch together (and maybe a few less peaceful activities, involving Christian's desk and Ana's skirt hiked up around her waist.)

Without Andrea, she might not be aware of her husband's… extra-curricular activities. It was roughly three weeks ago when she called Christian's office, late in the evening, just before Andrea was leaving for the day. Her husband wasn't answering his phone, and Teddy, the love of his parent's life, had taken a tumble after rushing down the marble stairs leading to the front walk. He was okay, but the first time mother was taking no chances after seeing her little boy's head hit the stone walkway, and was taking him to the E.R. Sawyer was behind the wheel and a distraught Ana was keeping a keen eye on her son in his car seat, looking for any signs of abnormal behavior. The young boy had quite a goose egg on the left side of his head, and his eye were puffy from many shed tears, but his sniffles were slowly easing and he was well on the way to recovery.

"Christian Grey's office, Andrea speakin. How may I help you?"

"Andrea, it's Ana, please get Christian on the line. Tell him it's an emergency."

"Mrs. Grey, Christian hasn't been back since he left for lunch. It's Tuesday."

"Yes, Tuesday, the night he works late. He's not answering his cell, Andrea, and Teddy's taken a spill down the front steps. I'm taking him to get checked over."

Andrea was silent for several beats. "Andrea, please! I know that no matter what he's doing, he wants to hear about this!"

Of course, she had to face the fact that she was wrong about that. Very wrong indeed. The last thing on Christian's mind that Tuesday, and apparently every Tuesday for the last four months, was his family.

Andrea told Ana that Christian had let his staff know that on Tuesdays after 1:00 pm, he was to be considered inaccessible, presumably to spend time with his family, and Ros was to be notified of any issues that might arise in his stead.

This most definitely did not mesh with the story that Christian had told Ana; that Tuesday was his designated day to stay late and take care of any excess paper work that built throughout the week, thus ensuring that he would be home at a reasonable hour every other night of the week.

Everything Ana believed she knew about her life ended with that phone call. She took her son to the Emergency Room, relying on her security guard for support rather than her husband. The name Grey was enough to get immediate service, and it was only after a barrage of tests had been performed on the little man and his mother was about to receive the resulst from a kind faced pediatrician that her husband stormed through the E.R.'s sliding doors, Taylor following closely behind.

"How did you find out we were here?" were the first words of Ana's mouth. Her son's laughter during his examination was enough to tell her that her previous fears were unwarranted, and her focus turned to where he husband was when no one could seem to locate him. Sawyer had been silent the entire time she was attempting to hunt Christian down, only speaking quietly on the phone once, after Ana had given up on finding her missing spouse and resumed checking her son for signs of trauma.

"Taylor" was his one word response. He turned to the Doctor and began a series of questions regarding Teddy's well-being. Ana observed him silently, noting everything. His hair was even wilder than usual, which could be explained with his proclivity towards running his fingers through it when stressed, but what if…?

She was afraid to follow that train of thought, instead continuing with her assessment of her husband's physical state. His pants had an unnatural crease running diagonal across his thigh, as if they had been sitting crumpled somewhere. His collar had lost the stiffness that it had when he started the day, and instead was hanging loose around his neck, with the top two button of his dress shirt undone. There was no sign of the tie he had left the house with.

Then she noticed something that made her gasp, though she tried to cover it up. Christian gave her a quick side glance before resuming his interrogation of the Doctor that had been in charge of his son's examination, listening intently for any signs of incompetence in his responses.

His wedding band was missing.

* * *

Ana had already known what truths she would find when she hired the man to follow her husband the next Tuesday afternoon. She found the most expensive P.I. she could find in the phone book, and paid him triple his going rate for his discretion. She gave the man the rundown of Christian's security personnel, and hoped that he would be able to avoid detection long enough to get the proof that she needed. Not that she needed to see the evidence to prove to herself that her suspicions were true. She never mentioned that she noticed that his ring was missing, and the next day when he returned from the office, it was back in place. She could only assume that in his haste to check on Teddy he had neglected to check his appearance as meticulously as must have been his normal routine, to keep his wife in the dark for so long.

The P.I. hand delivered the manila envelope that Ana had in front of her the very next day. It contained photographs of Christian and a young, beautiful brunette eating lunch at one of Ana's favorite restaurants, feeding each other with their hands and engaging in what have must have been some incredibly titillating conversation, given the looks of lust that they were throwing across that table. They were followed by more pictures of the couple out on the town together; at the market picking up fresh ingredients for a meal, at the high end liquor store selecting a wine, and finally in a passionate embrace outside of Escala, before walking in through the front lobby after enjoying a midafternoon stroll. The sight of Taylor in the background of several of the photographs showed Ana just how far the treachery extended. She spent more time with her guards that she did with her husband most days, and to learn that everyone in her inner-circle; all of those people that she saw every day must know what Christian was up to tore her to the quick.

She had no one that she could confide in. Her best friend was married to Christian's brother, and she couldn't ask Kate to keep this from Elliot indefinitely until she figured out how to proceed.

Her friend wouldn't be in the dark for too much longer, and Ana had a feeling that Kate would give her overwhelming approval of how Ana had decided to handle the situation.

For one week, she did nothing but bury every emotion, waiting to see what was going to happen next. On the following Tuesday she waited outside of GEH's offices herself, security be damned. She knew that they know she was there, and not a one of them said a single word to her. Nor to Christian, it seemed, as he met with the woman again, this time greeting her right outside of the front door of his company's headquarters with a quick kiss, and opening the door to the Audi that Taylor had parked in front of the building for him. Taylor handed him the keys to the vehicle as they passed each other, and Christian got in the driver's seat and took off into traffic.

Ana's intention had been to follow them, but she no longer thought that she could drive safely. Her hands were shaking on the wheel, and her breathing was becoming more erratic. She was oblivious to Taylor crossing traffic and making his way to her car until her was outside her door, motioning for her to unlock it. She slid her left hand slowly off of the wheel and hit the button on the door, and Taylor opened it, crouching down and getting into position to look Ana in the face.

"Mrs. Grey? Mrs. Grey? Look at me, please." Ana slowly turned her head, still seeing nothing but her husband wrapping he arms around another woman. "Mrs. Grey, Ana, please pay attention. I need you to get into the backseat. I'm going to take you home."

She moved her legs slowly to the asphalt, and Taylor assisted her into the back of the car. She could hear him on the phone during the drive, but nothing he was saying registered in her mind. When they pulled up to the front of the house that she shared with her family, and their extensive staff, Gail was waiting at the foot of the walk to assist Ana inside the house. Gail hadn't a single word of comfort to give the distraught young mother and wife. She knew what was happening; everyone in Christian's employ did, at least those that made up the security team and the household staff. She had known that it would come to this, but she couldn't convince Taylor to break the silence that the staff held regarding their employers recent activities. Taylor had asked Gail herself not to speak to Ana, stating that to do so would be to cross the lines between employee and friend. He knew that everything would come out eventually, and he wanted to have nothing to do with the reveal when it finally happened. He had, however, alerted Gail to what had taken place that afternoon, and prepared her to take care of a near-comatose young lady.

It took two days for Ana to break herself out of her daze, during which time Gail tended to Teddy's need for love and affection; Ana being unable to provide anything beyond the immediate necessities. Christian himself was oblivious to any change in his wife, spending the majority of his time at home in his home office and only emerging to eat and sleep.

On the third day, Ana "woke up", and she knew exactly what she had to do.

* * *

_**E. L. James own the Fifty Shades Trilogy.**_

_**I hope that everyone can handle another cheat fic. I'm going to let writing this exorcise all the demons that have been haunting me since they first started cropping up. I hope you enjoy it.**_


	2. Chapter 2

Ana sat patiently at the table as Christian burst through the front door. She listened without calling attention to herself as he stomped through the house searching for her. She kept her eye focused on a drop of condensation forming on the side of her glass of ice water, watching it slowly grow as Christian raged through the living room and entered the dining room, his heavy footsteps dislodging the droplet from its place on the side of the cup and sending it on a twisting course to the table, where it splashed against the unprotected wood.

Ana calmly raised her eyes to meet the fuming stare of her husband. She watched as Christian made a visible attempt at composing himself, straightening his posture and resuming control of his facial expression. Her cool stare was met with that of his barely contained fury.

"I was having a good day, Ana. I'd had a productive morning and was preparing to leave for a business lunch. I'd left my house this morning believing that I had everything that a man could want; a successful business, a comfortable home, a loyal staff and a loving family. Imagine my surprise when my P.A. delivers a folder containing pictures of my wife enjoying a night out on the town with another man!"

_Five Days Prior_

Ana had been in a stupor for what felt to her like forever. She had to confirm with her housekeeper that it was Thursday, and it had only been two days since her world had fallen apart. Seeing her husband touch another woman in an intimate fashion in photographs was much different than watching it take place a few feet away from her. She'd been unprepared for how devastating it would be, despite already knowing what she was in store for.

The people surrounding her in her own home, the security guards, the staff, even her beloved Taylor and Gail were no longer to be trusted. When she inquired to her housekeeper how long she had been in her zombie-like state, she could read the older woman's pity as if it was words on a page. "How long have you known?" Ana had whispered, unable to raise her voice to a normal speaking level.

"I've known for about two months. Taylor has known for four. I doubt that it was taking place for too long before he became aware." Gail saw no reason to hide the ugly truth from Ana now. She seriously doubted that her silence concerning what she knew was going to help Christian, not after the hell of the past two days. For too long she had allowed the knowledge of her employer's affair to fester in her heart, and to see the heartbreak this sweet young lady, barely past girlhood was suffering left her wondering if minding her own business and keeping the boundary between staff and boss as firm as she and Taylor had done was really the best course of action.

Ana nodded gently, thanked Gail for going above and beyond over the last two days, and made her way into her son's room, where he had yet to wake and greet the day. She sat down beside his bed and stroked his light copper hair, watching him stir and lift his droopy eyelids. The little boy smiled sleepily at his mother, raising his arms to her, knowing that she would lift him out of bed. Ana scooped up her little boy and rested her chin on the top of his head as he cuddled into her chest.

She slowly descended the stairs with her son in arms, and accepted a plate of eggs from a contrite looking Gail with a weak smile. She strapped Teddy into his high chair and set his breakfast down in front of him, with a sippy cup full of juice and a child-sized plastic fork.

Waving away Gail's attempt at serving her, she sat with her head resting on her hands, watching her son meticulously scoop the scrambles eggs onto his fork and carry it slowly to his mouth, losing half of every bite in transit despite the care he was taking.

What was she going to do? Could she break up her son's family before he was even old enough to know what the word meant? What did Christian expecting her to do? He certainly wasn't being discreet. He was almost flaunting it. He had to know that eventually, someone would tell her. Ana wondered how photographs of his extra-marital activities had been kept out of the papers. She supposed that being the most powerful man in Seattle didn't come without its perks.

This woman was not a sub; that was obvious. His subs had very rarely ever enjoyed his company out in public, according to him, and when they did, there was no affection expressed between them to give rise to public speculation as to the nature of their relationship. Did that mean he wanted her to find out? There were too many questions, and the only source of answers was the man who she now realized had been avoiding her for longer than just the past two days.

She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to hurt him. She wanted to confirm that she still had the ability_ to_ hurt him. Who knew if he even had enough love left for her to feel pain over anything she did. Unless, of course, it was physical pain she was trying to inflict. She gave a small snort of satisfaction at the mental image of tying her husband down with his own restraints and breaking his legs. They would see if he could continue his romantic strolls with his new…girlfriend? Is that what she was? Ana's amusement was short lived when reality came crashing back. She looked up to see Taylor and Sawyer both standing with Gail near the entrance to the kitchen. Sawyer was doing everything in his power not to stare at Ana with remorse and pity, and was failing miserably.

That was the clincher for Ana. Hurt it him it was. He had left her with no one. Her Mother lived too far away to be of any comfort, and flying her in wasn't an option at this point. There was just too much going on for her to play proper hostess. Her father would want to kill him. He could offer very little insight into the mind of a philandering husband, though he might know a bit about coping mechanisms for the betrayed spouse. She still didn't feel like she was strong enough to keep Ray from going after Christian. She might just help him, and leaving Teddy fatherless wouldn't solve any problems.

No, she had no one in the city to turn to tell her that plotting revenge on her very powerful husband was a bad idea. No one that wasn't related to him or employed by him, anyway, and she wasn't asking them.

She shifted in her chair and sat up a little straighter, bringing the attention of the three people quietly conversing on the other side of the room to her. She leveled them with a cool stare, and they each turned around simultaneously, understanding Ana's silent communication that it was a little late for their concern. Considering who she had left to confide in had raised another question; was Christian's family aware? She couldn't imagine Christian's loving mother or sweet sister condoning his behavior, but what about his father and brother? Carrick was against their getting married so soon from the beginning, and Elliot's past speaks volumes about his views on sex; as long as she's attractive, you're good to go.

She was beginning to lose herself in the magnitude of betrayal she suspected had taken place. She politely asked Gail to clean Teddy and place him in his gated play area once he was finished eating. It was time to plan.

_Friday Evening_

Ana stood outside the restaurant waiting for her "date" to arrive. Christian was once again "working" late, though whether he was with his still unidentified mistress or actually doing the work he was most definitely not completing on Tuesday, Ana wasn't certain. Nor was she allowing herself to be concerned. She was going to keep her spirits high tonight, hopefully portraying enough enthusiasm that the photographs that she had hired her new best friend, the P.I., to take of her this evening would show a woman who thoroughly enjoying her evening.

The gentleman she was waiting for approached her after handing the valet his keys. He was an attractive man (not to Christian's level, but then, who could ever be?), slightly older than her husband and significantly less successful, though he still was doing quite well as an environmental lawyer, working to ensure Washington state's natural beauty remained unmarred. She had met him roughly a month ago while leaving a restaurant before Christian, who had claimed to need to remain behind to answer a call. She now wondered why he needed to take the call at the table, and why it required her to leave for home separately, but at the time saw no reason to question his direction.

She had run into Mark while waiting at the coat check. The girl who had disappeared with both of their tickets was taking an unreasonable amount of time, considering the small amount of garments she had to sort through.

"Ever get a little concerned about all the perverse acts that could potentially be taking place on your jacket when you leave them unattended at these places?" he had said, discreetly appraising her and smiling appreciatively at what he found.

"I'm less worried here than I am when I throw my coat on a bed at a house party."

They shared a laugh, when only increased when a flustered looking girl emerged from the closet with their jackets. She gently smiled and pointed to her ring when he asked if would be available later in the week for dinner, to which he gave a small nod and they parted ways. He was the first man that came to mind when she was devising her plan to shatter Christian the way that he had shattered her. Their exchanged pleasantries had given her just information to locate him, with the help of her favorite P.I.

When Mark, understandably, asked what had changed in her marriage that now left her free to pursue other relationships, she replied with a simple "the circumstances have changed" ,which was enough to satisfy her suitor and they made plans to meet at a popular restaurant at the end of the week.

Ana spent the evening with what she hoped was a genuine smile plastered in her face. The food was excellent and the company was even better, but her thought kept returning to her son, whom had been left under the care of Gail, and her husband, whose whereabouts remained unknown.

When Mark asked if he could escort her home at the end of the evening, she made what she hoped was an offer that he couldn't refuse. He looked a little baffled at how the lovely woman who at first had appeared to be happily married was propositioning him for an evening of no strings attached sex, but her physical appeal and gentle demeanor won over common sense, and they walked arm in arm two blocks down the street to a prestigious and well-known hotel, where Ana paused right beneath the sign alerting passersby as to what building they were standing in front of, and pulled Mark into a passionate embrace.

* * *

**_I hope that this chapter has lived up to expectations. _**

**_I want to make the readers aware why I'm writing this story. Our beloved canon Christian and Ana had no real relationship experience before each other. I'm exploring the possiblities of what issues might arise when adults have yet to learn the lessons that many of us learn when we are younger, before marriage, when the stakes aren't nearly as high._**

**_Mrsdamon helped me flesh out the internal monologue in the chapter. We should all be thankful that now readers can understand what's being said._**

**_Thank you all so much for reading._**

**_E.L. James owns the Fifty Shades trilogy_**


	3. Chapter 3

Ana gazed steadily at her husband; giving nothing away with her stare. "I'd imagine that came as quite a shock to you." They continued to stare evenly at one another, as if each was searching for a fissure in the armor of the other.

"Would you care to explain these, Anastasia?" Christian's barely suppressed fury was radiating from every pore in his body. Ana imagined that she could feel the heat that his wrath was generating emanating from him.

"Well, husband, as you can see, I had an evening out with a gentleman friend." She smiled sweetly at her spouse's rising anger.

"And what, pray tell, gave you the impression that this was appropriate behavior for a married woman to engage in? Had you given any consideration to the way that this would affect your family, your marriage?" This absurd dance of civility was becoming harder to maintain. Christian's hands were literally twitching; Ana noted with perverse glee, reminding her of all the times the couple had shared amusement over Christian's metaphorically twitching palms.

"Well, my love, perhaps it was the knowledge that you were doing the same. Had you considered how _your_ actions were affecting our marriage? " With that she slid the manila folder that had been sitting in front of her, unnoticed by her husband, across the table towards him.

_One Hour Prior_

"Andrea, you know very well that I'm about to leave for the afternoon. I'm sure whatever you have there can be handled by Ros."

Andrea, however, knew that whatever was in the folder she had been trying to get her boss to take (she only had a vague idea herself, being tempted to peek but showing an amazing display of character by resisting her curiosity) was not something that Mr. Grey would want anyone to see. "I'm sorry, Mr. Grey, but the man who delivered the envelope was very specific in stating that the contents are for your eyes only.

"Then it can wait till tomorrow. Please make sure that all _pertinent_ information makes its way to Roz." His insinuations that the unknown contents of the folder were of no importance didn't deter his determined personal assistant. Christian began going through his end of the day routine, closing down his desktop, locking his files cabinets and organizing his desk for the upcoming morning, causing Andrea to panic slightly. She knew that Mrs. Grey had something planned. What that was, she had no idea. In fact, she had no idea what was going on at all. Suspicions she had in spades, but the only information she knew for sure was that Mr. Grey had been lying to his wife, and Ana was working on something to make him pay. Andrea had been assured by Mrs. Grey rather emphatically that the fallout from her schemes wouldn't affect her, and that there would be nothing to indicate to Christian that Andrea had aided Mrs. Grey in any way. Her part was to insure that the deliverer of the envelope made it to the office unimpeded, and give him enough time to leave the building and make it a good distance away from GEH while still catching Christian and handing it over to him before he left for "family time". Now how to alert him to the importance of that folder without implicating herself became her goal.

"Mr. Grey, if you don't mind my saying, I believe that this folder contains the details on the Baltimore, Maryland shipyard you were looking into. I was under the impression that this was a time sensitive matter?"

Christian paused from filling his briefcase with the documents he'd set aside to take home. The Baltimore property was high priority at the moment. He pulled his phone out of his suit coat pocket and sent a text as he took the folder from Andrea.

"Let me see those, then. Alert downstairs that I will be delayed ten minutes."

Andrea waited until she left his office before she released the tension that had been overtaking her body with a cleansing breath. She resumed her position at her desk and called the front desk to hold off on delivering Christian's car to the front. Her part was over; now it was a matter of waiting to see what the repercussions of all this scheming would be.

The door to Christian's office swung open with enough force to slam the wall behind it. Andrea had seen her boss furious at the incompetence of his employees before, but the level of anger she saw in his face as he stormed to her desk was something that she had never experienced.

"Who delivered these?" The calm of his voice didn't match the overt signs of anger in his posture, his expression and the intensity of his stare. Andrea barely had time to stutter out that she recognized neither the company the man worked for nor the man himself before Christian was moving away from her, giving directions to someone over his phone, ostensibly ordering someone to track down the poor soul that Ana had gotten to do her dirty work for her.

She went to lock the door to Christian's office, which he had neglected in his haste, and peered around at the destruction inside. She had heard rumors when she began at GEH that the walls surrounding Mr. Grey's office had been soundproofed, that he hired outside contractors to come and do the work discreetly and quickly over a holiday weekend when the building was deserted, but had dismissed them as the wishful thinking of young secretaries hoping for a chance at afternoon delight with their employer. The evidence that it was true lay smashed on the ground before her.

The frames of the photographs of Mrs. Grey that Mr. Grey had hung on his office walls were in shatters all over the room, the pictures themselves torn into halves. The computer monitor, the phone, and the keyboard were destroyed and in pieces beside the desk, and the ceramic coffee mug had exploded against the wall, with coffee stains radiating out in splatters over the once pristine paint.

Andrea called down to the front desk and let them know that Mr. Grey was en route and it was in all's best interest to be ready for him. She sat back in her chair and wondered what the next day would bring.

_Present Time_

Christian pulled the handful of photographs out from the folder and looked them over, paling.

"Oh, Ana."

* * *

**_So, this hasn't been to see my beta, as I realize that I've been doing a poor job with the updates and don't want to make you wait longer. I hope to replace it with a better version soon._**

**_Now that I have the creative juices flowing again, expect to the see the expositional chapter out soon. Hopefully very soon._**

**_Thank you for reading._**


	4. Chapter 4

Ana could feel her mask of indifference start to crack at the compassion, and if she wasn't mistaken, pity in her husband's eyes. This was not was she was expecting. Anger, rage, fear, jealousy, all of those she was prepared for, but sympathy wasn't something that she had planned to see. The idea of what that sympathy could mean was terrifying, and she wasn't prepared for its implications. His lack of fear and remorse in the face of her wrath was unsettling. She felt her anger rising at his audacity. Where was the begging for forgiveness? She did what she could to quell her inner turmoil before she was reduced to the clichéd betrayed wife, screaming and breaking things, justifying the husband's decision to stray from his irrational spouse.

"Do you want to tell me what those are all about, Christian? It seems to me that the accusations that you were just so casually throwing at me was rather hypocritical weren't they?"

Christian slid the pictures of him and the other woman back into their envelope and pulled out the chair directly across from his wife, sitting down and resting his elbows on the wooden surface, cradling his head in his hands in an exasperated fashion, as if he were about to explain something incredibly complex to someone he knew hadn't the capacity to understand but he was still obligated to try.

"Where did you get these, Ana?" Christian stared into her eyes as if he could ascertain the truth from her glare alone.

"I hired a man to take them for me." She was struggling to maintain her composure. She had no idea where this was going any longer. Christian's lack of the reaction she'd expected had set her whole game plan into a tailspin, and she was no longer sure who was in control of the situation. Her new plan was to give as little information as possible, hoping to draw answers from her wayward husband through her reluctance to provide any of her own.

"Who?"

She merely looked at him.

"I've already located the boy you used to drop off the folder containing your little indiscretion, Ana. I'll find the photographer eventually. Tell me; was Andrea in on your little scheme? She was incredibly adamant that I took a look at the contents before I left to…"

Ana's momentary fear of revealing her co-conspirator to her husband, with his superior ability to wrangle the truth from her, was brief, overshadowed by her husband's near slip in disclosing his own planned activities.

"Before you left to what, Christian? Before you left to go see your girlfriend? Before you left to go kiss her on the street in front of all of your employees? Before you left to take to restaurants we used to frequent? Before you take her to the apartment where we fell in love? No, I'm sorry, I misspoke, the apartment where I fell in love. I'm no longer certain what happened to you there, but I no longer believe there was any love on your part."

Ana stopped ranting just before she reached the critical level of anger that would send her toppling over into the realm of a screaming banshee. She could hear the pitch of her voice increase with every sentence, and her words were rushing out her mouth before she could determine if they were truly what she wanted to say. She blinked rapidly to push back the impending tears, took a deep breath, and tried to regulate her heart rate. It wouldn't do any good to let herself become too emotional. Look how far Christian had come without letting his emotions inhibit his reasoning. He didn't become the successful, adulterous man he was today by allowing something as trivial as _feelings_ to get in his way, oh no, and she would retain her control over this conversation. She was directing where this exchange was going, and if she let her control slip there was no telling what would happen.

Christian watched the emotions play out on Ana's face as her internal dialogue went rogue. He could see how much she struggling to contain her reactions. This was most assuredly not how he saw this conversation taking place. He had known that something like this occurring eventually was inevitable, but he was hoping that when it did he would have more control over the situation. As things stood now, he had no idea how much his wife knew, and what her expectations were. He was going to have to carefully navigate his way through the following discussion or else this could become a very serious problem for all involved.

"Christian, do you have anything that you want to tell me?" She held her breath and looked into his eyes, but they gave away nothing. He stared back at her distantly, as if waiting for her to continue. She wasn't going to fall for his attempt at redirecting her towards another question and waited patiently.

Christian broke the silence first. "What do you think that those are pictures of, Ana?"

"You used to be better at this, Grey. I can tell that you want me to give up what I know so that you can determine what you need to admit to. I know exactly what those pictures are of, Christian; I had the privilege of seeing the show first-hand the week before those were taken. I'm not surprised to see that you take the same regimented approach to your extra-marital affairs that you do with your business and family. Perhaps if you hadn't been so rigid in your schedule you could have had a few more months fucking two women before I found out. Tell me Christian, should I get an STD test, or were you at least practicing safe adulterous sex?"

"Do not insinuate that she's anything less than the beautiful young woman that she is, Ana." Christian said this with more passion than Ana had seen from him since he came in. "I'm sorry that you saw what you did, but that's no reason begin throwing unfounded accusations at the innocent party."

Ana's resolve almost faltered in the face of her husband's defense of his mistress. "Was she somehow the only woman in Seattle that wasn't aware that you're a married man, Christian? Is she a lovely, virtuous young woman whom just so happens has no qualms about breaking a family apart? Have you forgotten that that is what we have made, Christian, a family, one that is now broken because of you and your sweet, adorable home-wrecking mistress?"

"Blame me, Ana, but not her. She's not responsible for this."

"Oh, she's not? So she wasn't aware that you had a family then?"

"Yes, she knew, but." Ana quickly cut him off.

"There are no but's, Christian. There is no defending her, the same as there isn't a defense for you. You flaunted her about the city while I stayed home and raised your son. You showed her the life that a wife should have while I waited for whatever was left over when she was through with you, as if I was the mistress. Why would you treat your whore better than your wife, Christian?"

Christian stood so rapidly that he chair tottered for a second before falling over and knocking into the side board, setting the crystal decanter on top wobbling. "How dare you say those things, Ana, you know nothing about her. She's not the promiscuous woman looking to sleep her way to the top that you're trying to paint her as. She's a beautiful, intelligent, vibrant young woman that deserves better than to have you maligning her character without ever having met her."

Ana stared at her husband, no longer trying to control the tears that had been threatening to spill since he called the other woman beautiful. "Why are you trying to defend her to me, Christian? Don't you think that I have a right to be upset at the woman who's stolen my husband's heart?"

Christian looked into his wife's face and saw what his defense of his mistress was doing to her, and was immediately filled with remorse. His instinct to protect someone he loved had hurt someone he'd sworn to protect over all others. The mess that he had made of his marriage fell on his shoulders alone and he needed to make things right, for all parties involved.

"Just tell me the truth Christian, please. I know that somehow you think that I don't deserve your love or your respect any longer, but as your wife I deserve the truth."

"I've fallen in love with her, Ana. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it was unavoidable. She's so full of life, so open, so free, and so ready to explore the world. She's amazing. I'm sorry. I hope that you understand that I didn't mean for this to happen. I realize how trite and meaningless this sounds right now, but I still love you. It's no longer the burning love that it once was, though. I know that you've felt the difference, too."

Ana sat quietly, looking at her hands. She was in almost the exact same position that she was in when Christian came home, but now everything was different. It was much worse that she thought. She had been holding onto the belief that Christian had been having a fling; something to add excitement to what had admittedly become a rather bland lifestyle since the birth of their son a little over a year before. They hadn't even reached their third anniversary, and she couldn't understand how Christian had (supposedly) fallen in love with her, gotten married, had a son, fallen out of love with her and into love with another woman in less than four years.

"You're in love with her." She didn't expect a response for her statement, but Christian nodded, regardless. "You love me, but not enough? Not enough to keep you from falling for someone else?"

"Ana, it's not a matter how much I love you, it's the form that it takes. Our love is strong, but it's not passionate. We don't share the same zeal for each other that we once did. I've found that again, and I hope that you have, too, with whoever was in those pictures that you had sent to me."

Ana gave a twisted laugh at that. Her weak attempt at giving her husband a taste of his own medicine had fallen very short of the mark indeed. She wanted him to feel the same burn of betrayal that consumed her, and instead he had shown her mild annoyance at having been made to look foolish for being incapable of controlling his wife, when all the while he was parading the new love of his life around town.

She looked into the face of her husband for the first time since he began his emphatic defense of his mistress. She realized that she was eventually going to have to learn this woman's name, seeing as how she was now going to figure prominently in the life of her son's father. "What now?" The words came out dead and lifeless, mirroring her marriage, and Ana laughed to herself again, and then a bit harder at the look of confusion and trepidation that was creeping onto her husband's face.

"You tell me what you want to do for now, Ana, and I'll make it happen. We can worry about the rest tomorrow."

Ana snorted bitterly. "I'm not surprised to see you delaying your responsibilities to your family again. Tell me, was she disappointed when she heard that you had to come here to admonish your wife for doing the same thing that she had been doing with you for months? Was she upset at having to cancel your weekly tryst? Was she cursing my name earlier today the same way I was cursing hers a few moments ago?"

Christian blanched partly at the malice in her tone, and partly at the accuracy of her assumptions. When he'd called to cancel his lunch date the new woman in his life had been extremely upset, especially when she learned that it was to confront his wife over photographs of her with another man. She'd honestly come close to flying off the handle, screaming expletives and accusations, questioning why he was so concerned about the affairs of a woman he claimed to no longer be in love with. He chalked this up to the price that one pays to have passion in a relationship, sometimes that passion spilled over into aspects where it isn't appropriate. She did have a point, of course. He had no reason to be angry with his wife, considering all, and he wasn't, not after his initial response had passed. This was his out, as he tried to explain to her as he raced to the home that he had built with his family in mind, she was with another and that would certainly soften the blow that he'd been reluctant to deliver.

"I wish you would stop trying to drag her into this. This is between you and me. I was the one to make promises to you, and I was the one to break them."

"That's where you're wrong, Christian, this isn't just between you and I. We have a son, together, remember? I realize that you haven't seen very much of him as of late but I hadn't thought that you'd completely neglected to include him in your plans. Do you still plan on having anything to do with him, or are you trading him in for a newer model, too? Is she pregnant already? Have you created the Greys, 2.0, when the old version failed to meet your expectations?"

"I told you that we could work out the specifics of our new arrangement later."

"Well I don't want to do it later; I want to do it now! Is she excited at the prospect of raising my son with you, or has she given you an ultimatum, her or us?"

"Ana, stop this right now! I realize that you're upset, but you need to control yourself. We will work it out, and everything will be okay. She is a wonderful woman, and when Teddy is with us she will treat him with the same love that he could expect from either one of us."

"No, Christian, it's not going to be that easy for you. The kind of woman that flaunts a relationship in public with a man who has a family is not the type of woman to care for that man's son as if he was her own. I'm not sure how you came to be so deluded, so enmeshed in this fantasy of replacing one wife with another with minimal upset, but relationships don't work that way."

She stood for the first time since Christian had arrived. "I would like you to leave, please, Christian. I'm going to pack the things that Teddy and I will need for the next few days. Teddy is with Kate and Elliot, and I'll be joining them until I can find something suitable. I'm sorry that it has to be with your brother, but I need my friend."

"You don't have to go, Ana. I can stay at Escala."

"I'm sure you will. But nevertheless, I can't stay here. It hurts to be here." Christian grimaced at the blunt honesty. "I'll call when we're settled somewhere so you'll know that Teddy's safe."

"I care about your safety, too, Ana."

Ana turned around just enough for Christian to see the profile of her face as she paused at the entrance to the living room.

"Just not enough."

* * *

**_I hope that this doesn't disappoint. Regarding questions as to the length, number of chapters, update schedule, I can only say that while I know exactly what is going to happen in this story, I don't have any of those details planned out. We can call this a free-form fic, if you like._**

**_The Fifty Shades Trilogy belongs to E.L. James. _**

**_Side Note: Can anyone tell me what the difference is between views and visitors on my story stats page?_**


	5. Chapter 5

Ana sat on the floor of her walk in closet, sobbing quietly into a soft sweater. She'd waited until she heard Christian finish collecting a few days' worth of clothing from the room that they'd shared and his personal items from their bathroom before she'd entered the bedroom to do the same for herself. In all the different scenarios she's imagined taking place during her confrontation with Christian, his admittance of falling in love with the other woman had never crossed her mind. Her faith in the love that she and her husband had shared was so strong that she'd been expecting a heartfelt apology, with plenty of begging for forgiveness on his part, marriage counseling, of course, and an eventual reconciliation when she felt that she could trust him again. She'd anticipated him giving her an excuse as why he'd betrayed her and the vows that they'd made each other, perhaps he'd been hiding stress at work, or with his family, and he'd felt like he needed an outlet, rather than bringing his problems into their home.

Now she was faced with pain that she hadn't foreseen. He was leaving her for someone else. Not a sub, but a girlfriend. She hadn't even asked him if she shared his sexual proclivities. Would it matter to her? Of course it would, she reasoned. If this new girl in his life wasn't even a submissive, it would mean that she'd not only failed at pleasing him with the type of relationship he'd engaged in before they met, that of a Dom/sub pairing, but the more standard bond of husband and wife. She would not only have been proven incapable of being a proper submissive, which she knew she wasn't, but as his loving wife, a role she felt she was born to fill.

Did she want to know what type of relationship they shared? Ana wasn't sure. On one hand, if she could believe that it was just Christian's slightly abnormal inclinations that she'd fallen short of, she still might be able to find happiness in her life, with a man with more average expectations. If she wasn't up to snuff as a wife in general, then it wasn't really fair of her to even attempt another relationship, knowing that she was insufficient to satisfy a man's needs.

She rose and began randomly shoving clothing and toiletries into a small suitcase, and then moved to Teddy's room and began to do the same. She remembered to pack his favorite stuffed bunny and a few his favorite bed time stories, and then went and set the cases in the foyer.

Ana looked around the front room of her home as she called Sawyer and asked him to bring her car around front. She walked along wall that chronicled in pictures her life with her family; a photograph from her wedding, one of Teddy taken the day he was born, his first birthday, and plenty of family get-togethers that featured the entire Grey clan, which she could no longer claim to be a part of. The divorce was merely a formality at this point. All family portraits from this point forth would be minus one Ana and plus one home-wrecker. She couldn't see herself attending any other functions that Esme put on for her family, even if she would still be welcome. How could look into the life that she hadn't been worthy of keeping from the outside?

Sawyer cleared his throat from behind her and she turned to see him holding her luggage, propping the door open with his foot. She wondered how long she must have been ruminating over what she had lost and what the future would bring to warrant his interruption. He was normally the least invasive of Christian's security guards.

She pulled the envelope containing her engagement and wedding bands from where she had stashed them in her purse and set them on the front table where Christian would be sure to see them the next time he returned. If he never came back and chose to remain at Escala with his new woman, she was certain that Gail would make sure that they made their way to him. Ana watched Sawyer load the trunk, but stopped him before he could slide into the driver's seat.

"Thank you, Sawyer, but I think that I'll be driving myself from here on out."

"Mrs. Grey." Ana cut him off with a pointed look.

"That's hardly an appropriate title at this point, wouldn't you say?" The sympathy he felt for her showed clearly though the mask of professional indifference that all of Christian's security guards were so skilled at keeping.

"Ana, then. Mr. Grey has given instructions for me to see you safely to his brother's house."

"Mr. Grey's instructions mean very little to me at this point, Sawyer. I appreciate that you were willing to shuttle me around still, given the circumstances, but I'd rather this be a journey that I take alone. It seems to be about time that I relearn how to fend for myself, now, anyway." She moved in and gave her former guard an awkward hug, knowing that Christian wouldn't have any further issue's with her showing affection where she saw fit, and climbed into the car, sparing her home one last glance in the rearview mirror as she exited the gates.

* * *

Christian pulled into the garage at Escala with a feeling of exuberance that he hadn't experienced since the early days of his relationship with Ana. He had finally done the right thing and come clean to his wife. Granted, she'd caught him first, but he still felt the absence of weight on his shoulders that had been his burden since he'd met Amanda.

_Six Months Prior_

"Christian, it's just not feasible. I would love to go with you, honestly I would, but with all that's going on right now I just couldn't make it and still cover everything else. Your mother is expecting me to help her plan the next Coping Together benefit and I've been slowly trying to accept more responsibility at Greys Publishing as Teddy and I adjust to our new routine. To take time off right now would put a strain on everything else. I'm sorry.

Christian had been trying to convince him to take a trip with him to Washington State University to attend the graduation ceremony as he'd once again been asked to help hand out the diplomas, and then spend the next few days reconnecting together without interruption from the day-to-day.

Things had been becoming increasingly tense for the couple. Much to Christian's dismay, Ana had been adamant about returning to work at Grey Publishing once Teddy was no longer breast-feeding, and it was taking a considerable amount of time from the young couple that was previously spent together, time passed either enjoying watching their son grow and explore a world that was new to him, christening surfaces in their new home, (which was always planned in advanced by Christian, to avoid any interruptions in the form of staff members and to keep their lovemaking from being recorded by the security cameras) to the occasional trip to Escala to make use of the playroom.

Now not only was Christian competing with Teddy for Ana's attention, he had to contend with her foolish insistence to work and the increasing demands of his family for her time. Just last week she canceled on a romantic dinner that he had delayed several meetings in order to attend to console Mia after yet another "bridezilla" moment overtook her and she demanded that all of her bridesmaids come and assist her with the ever-so-important task of ensuring that every component in her color scheme matched.

_One Week Later_

"We're terribly sorry for any inconveniences that this delay has caused you, Mr. Grey. Please allow Amanda to assist you with anything that you need while you wait."

Little did the man know that this hold up in the ceremony, thanks to an improperly assembled dais, wasn't going to affect his schedule at all, considering that his wife had refused to attend this trip. He had nothing to look forward to this evening but an empty suite. He dismissed the man wordlessly by nodding his head in acknowledgement and pulling out his blackberry, ensuring the sycophantic peon knew exactly how Christian felt about him and his pathetic attempts to placate him.

Christian flipped mindlessly through his e-mails, sorting through what could be forwarded to Roz for her to handle in his absence, what he could take care this evening from the suite and what would need his attention immediately when he returned to the office. He didn't look up from his task until someone sat down rather indelicately next to him on the sofa where he'd been relegated to waiting, startling him from his task and causing him to drop his blackberry in his lap.

Next to him was a very young, very beautiful dark haired girl, with deep brown eyes, a sweet, slightly rounded nose and lips that formed an adorable bow. She had her arm stretched out across the back of the couch towards him and one leg swinging where it was crossed at her knee, with her whole turned to face him.

"Can I assist with retrieving your phone, Mr. Grey? Your determination to ignore me leaves me thinking that there's little else I can do for you." With that she slid her hand from the back of the couch over Christian's shoulders, down his chest and abdomen and onto his lap, right over his cock where his phone had landed and let her hand linger there for a moment. Her facial expression, which had been set at a coy smirk, showed how pleased she was with herself when his dick twitched and noticeably swelled as she dragged the back of her hand across its length, finally leaving his body and presenting the phone to him.

Christian shifted his body away from the forward young woman and attempted to compose himself. The desire to bend this little girl over back of the couch and show her what kind of things happened to naïve young women who propositioned strange men was almost too strong to resist. It had been quite a while since he'd the opportunity to show a beautiful girl what it truly meant to be fucked by Christian Grey.

"I'm sorry young lady, but you're going to have to remind me who you are."

"Certainly Mr. Grey, I'm Amanda Breen, assistant to Mr. Miller, the man you so rudely ignored as he was trying to ensure your comfort. Had you listened you would be aware that I'm a junior at the university, and that I'm personally in charge of guaranteeing that you enjoy your stay her in Vancouver.

"Well then, the first thing that you can do for me is show that you're capable of behaving with a proper sense of decorum and refrain from allowing your hands to wander into places where they're not welcome."

Amanda leveled her eyes at Christian, searching for a hint of uncertainty; while Christian used every bit of self-control he possessed to keep just how much he wanted her from his eyes.

"Well then, ," she dropped the phone that he'd yet to accept from her waiting hand back into his lap and sat up straight with her hands on her knees, "we can try find something else to occupy ourselves with while we wait for the next generation of engineers to figure out how to assemble a simple stage. I hope that there are no lingering hard feelings; it was worth a shot, and had you gone for it I'm sure it would have been well worth the awkwardness now."

Christian mumbled something confirming that there would be no repercussions to her actions, and tried to hide his wonder at the how the girl had so brazenly went for what she wanted, then accepted her defeat so graciously, without letting anger at her rejection spoil her attitude.

_Later that Evening, After the Ceremony_

Christian and Amanda spent the afternoon together as they waited for the incompetent faculty to negotiate more time with the other presenters, finish erecting the stage and contain an increasingly agitated crowd. She's walked him though the greenhouses where his money was being spent researching the ability of genetically-modified dietary staples such as corn and wheat to grow in inhospitable conditions, and through the galleries displaying the artwork of the liberal arts majors. She pointed out her own contributions, and Christian was amazed at the vivacity and exultation that she transferred to the canvas. Everything was done in bold colors and strokes, drawing the eye from one point to the next until they settled to take on her work as whole, experiencing the love for color and life she was expressing with such talent.

Everything about Mandy had enraptured Christian. It had only taken one afternoon with her for him to learn that she would not let herself be hindered by any obstacle. Raised by her alcoholic father after her mother passed in childbirth, she'd struggled, and succeeded, in retaining the joy for life that she said she knew her mother would have wanted her to have. She had been accepted into the university with a partial scholarship, and was working in the Office of the Dean to cover the rest of her tuition and costs of living, as her father had refused, unsurprisingly, to assist her as she continued her education. He'd attempted pressuring her into marrying her high school boyfriend after he'd proposed, but she refused on the grounds that a life in the small town where she'd been brought up, forever being looked down upon as the daughter of the town drunk, picking her husband and her father up on Saturday nights after they'd had a few too many and started causing a ruckus at the local bar just wasn't going to cut it for her. She knew that she'd grow to resent anything that held her back, and concluded that it was best not to create a life and a family that she knew she'd end up abandoning.

Christian had insisted that Taylor drop Mandy off before they returned to the hotel for the night, as they'd walked around the campus together after the ceremony for so long, sharing bits of their lives that the buses that she relied on to get around had stopped running. He'd found himself sharing memories of his early life with her that only Flynn and Ana had known previously. Mandy didn't judge, nor did she pity, but instead understood from her own experiences what it took to overcome the fear that had been instilled in him, and let her appreciation of how far he'd moved beyond the scared boy he once was be known.

Being the gentleman that his adopted mother raised him to be, Christian walked her to the door of the town home that she shared with three other students. He stood awkwardly, suddenly feeling the weight of the band around the fourth finger of his left hand.

"Thank you for today, Christian. It was wonderful getting to know you. Amazing that a social miscreant such as yourself could pull off such a long stint of civility."

Christian laughed lightly at her teasing and continued to linger on the step as she unlocked her door. He was finding it incredibly difficult to walk away from her just to return to his cold, empty room at the hotel. Mandy turned after dropping her purse on the table beside her door and looked at him. She slowly leaned back over the threshold, holding onto the jam and angling her face toward Christian, questioning him with her eyes what he wanted her to do. Christian was momentarily mesmerized by the longing in her eyes, and without any awareness of his surroundings or misgivings about what he was about to do, he leaned down towards her and captured her lips with his. Mandy moved closer and pressed her body against his, shifting so that his stiffening cock came into contact with her abdomen and grabbed both his shoulders with her hands. Christian moved his hands onto the back her head, enjoying the soft feel of her hair, and let one hand slowly travel down her curves, exploring the lines of her back and the curve of her waist to finally cup her bottom, pulling her body tighter to his own.

She abruptly broke their kiss, untangling their limbs, and with one last small peck to his lips she leaned back into the house.

"Well, Mr. Grey, it would seem that you're more open to what I was offering earlier than you led me to believe. Should you change your mind and want to see me again, I'm sure that you can find a way to get in contact with me." With one last wide smile for him, she closed the door.

Christian made his way to where Taylor was waiting with the car dumbfounded. He hadn't experienced anything so moving since he'd first met Ana. Every nerve in his body was heightened, and his heart felt overwhelmed with emotion for the first time in so long. It wasn't until his eyes met the blank stare of his head of security in the rearview mirror after settling into the back seat that the severity of what he'd just allowed to happen struck him.

* * *

_**I want to thank Jaxfan for her last minute fact-checking for this chapter. Without her, everyone would have been waiting quite a bit longer. **_

_**This is the beginning of their relationship. We'll see how Christian and Ana grow further apart and he and Mandy grow closer in the next chapter, and then we'll move forwards into how all parties begin handling the new circumstances.**_

_**I want to thank everyone for reviewing. I promise to do my best to express to you the emotions that take place throughout what I feel is a very comman set of circumstances.**_

_**The Fifty Shades Trilogy belongs to E.L. James.**_


	6. Chapter 6

Ana sat at the island in Kate and Elliot's kitchen sipping on a hot cup of Twinning's English Breakfast tea. Teddy was fast asleep in the guest room, having spent the day at the zoo with his Aunt, Uncle, and new cousin Ava, who was sleeping as only an infant could in her mother's arms.

"I don't know what to say, Ana. Are you sure that I can't go pay him a visit?" Restraining Elliot from taking a trip to Escala to let Christian know exactly how he felt about his choices had been a challenge, especially considering that Kate was encouraging him out of the door until she noticed the panicked look on her friends face. When she touched her husband on the shoulder and implored him with her eyes to take a long look at their friend and sister-in-law, Elliot felt his fury over his brother's actions melt away to be replaced with pity for the heartbroken woman who'd been frantically begging him not to get involved.

"No, Elliot, please don't do anything that you're going to regret later. He's your family, and it's your job to support him, whether you agree with him or not."

"You're my family, too, and I don't see how supporting someone's crappy decision just because they happen to be family does anyone any good. I promise that I won't hit him. That's as far as I'll go."

"I accept. Thank you." Ana managed a weak smile for her best friend and her brother-in-law. She looked at the sleeping baby in Kate's arm and felt her stomach clench. Would she ever have another child? Would Christian and his new girlfriend? She couldn't imagine anyone passing at the opportunity to share something as meaningful and miraculous as having children together with someone as wonderful as her husband, so surely this new woman would expect to start a family of her own somewhere down the line. She could feel the tears coursing down her cheeks again and cursed herself internally for following that train of thought. Torturing herself now with thoughts of the future wasn't going to help her build a new life for her and her son, sans husband and father. She could be doing better for herself by constructing a list of what she would need to accomplish, in order of priority, to begin restructuring her life. She took a quick swipe at her cheeks with the sleeve of a soft and comforting hoodie borrowed from Elliot, feeling the telltale sting that indicated that her skin chapping with the repeated motion.

"Thank you both again, so much, for letting Teddy and I stay here tonight. I'm sorry for what an awkward position this puts you in. I don't want to see the family divided over the drama in my marriage."

"Don't you even speak like that, Steele. You know damn well that you and your son will always be welcome in our home. And none of this crap about how you don't want anyone choosing sides when you know that it's going to happen regardless. Your husband cheated on you, for months, and didn't come clean until you orchestrated an elaborate scheme to finally bring him home. I want the dirt on this Mark fellow, by the way. Do you plan on seeing him again?"

"God, Kate, how could I even consider something like dating again right now?"

"You seemed to be thinking about it enough to begin seeing someone already."

Ana sat and contemplated what her friend had said. "I thought that it would make me feel better, to do the same thing to him that he'd done to me. I wanted him to feel the same hurt that I felt. I hadn't counted on him feeling relief, as if he'd been granted an out from a no longer welcome obligation."

This time it was Elliot who spoke up. "Just because it started as a way to make your husband jealous doesn't mean that it can't become more now. How did he take it when he found out that the evening wasn't going to go the way that he was envisioning?"

"He was understandably angry. I'd been leading him on all evening, right to the front door of a hotel, with no intention of taking it any further. He was even more upset when I told him that I'd hired someone to photograph us and send the pictures to my husband. I tried to explain things to him, but really, I treated him terribly, and I don't see him wanting to speak with me again anytime soon."

Kate clucked her tongue at Ana's negativity. "You underestimate the draw that you have on the opposite sex, Ana my dear. He was disappointed, justifiably so, and his pride was wounded, but that doesn't mean that if you explain to him that you and husband have separated officially now, with no reconciliation in sight, he won't jump and the chance to get into your Mommy panties."

Ana rolled her eyes but couldn't completely suppress her smile at the crassness of her friend, as was surely Kate's intention. "I love you both, but I think that I need to stop worrying about inconsequential things, like dating again, and focus more on the necessities, like finding a new place to live and daycare for Teddy. For goodness sakes, you two, it's been less than," Ana turned to the clock above the stovetop and saw that it was just after midnight "twelve hours since my marriage officially imploded and you guys are already pressuring me to start dating again. I think that I need to go to bed, and since a sleepless night is already a foregone conclusion, try to focus on what the next steps are."

Ana rose slowly from the stool that she'd been perched on for the last several hours, stretching out muscles sore from sitting hunched over in defeat for so long, and walked around to the other side of the island, giving both the sleeping Ava and Kate a gentle hug at the same time, and moving over to Elliot, who wrapped his long arms all the way around her and squeezed her tight, as if he was hoping that some of his strength would be transferred to her through the contact.

Ana brushed her teeth in the guest bathroom while staring at her red and blotchy face in the mirror above the bathroom sink. She briefly considered showering, and then decided that since there was no one to share a bed with that would be offended by her poor hygiene, she wouldn't bother. She peeked at her son and watched him sleep peacefully on several folded blankets spread onto the bottom of a playpen for several minutes before she made her way to the bed on the other side of the room. A home of their own needed to found immediately, if for no other reason than to give her son a real bed to sleep in.

She ran over the list of things that she needed to take care of the next day in her mind, hoping to shut out the pain of her situation with the logistics of it. Daycare, first and foremost, needed to be acquired. She couldn't rely on Gail any longer, now that she had moved out of teh home where the older woman still lived with her husband, so constructing a list of the most reputable childcare centers and visiting them was a must. Then it wouldn't hurt to see if she could get her hours increased at Grey Publishing.

Ana sat up in bed at that thought. She still worked for her husband. She was his employee. How on earth could she return to that place after the news came out, which it inevitably would? There were several that believed, despite all her hard work to the contrary, that she was merely a bored housewife whose husband had found her a position, unearned, to keep her busy and to prevent her from spending his money all day long, never mind the fact that she started working there originally before she was married and before Christian had bought the company. The only thing stopping the subtle insinuations from turning into outright insults was the fact that she was, in fact, the boss' wife, and to date no one had been stupid enough to be openly rude to her for fear of the possible repercussions. She doubted being the ex-wife would hold the same sway.

Well, that was another thing to do. She needed to turn in her two weeks and begin shopping around for a new position somewhere else. Hopefully she'd be able to settle in before the news of her impending divorce hit the newsstands, otherwise she might find potential employers a little less inclined to give her a chance.

Finding a lawyer needed to go on the list, too. No doubt that Christian had already retained the best, hoping to preserve his vast wealth even in the face of his lack of foresight regarding a prenuptial agreement. How idealistic they'd been, believing that they were soul mates, and whatever hardships came their way they would conquer together. Just look at where such blind optimism got them. Well, her soon to be ex-husband had nothing to worry about. She didn't want his money before, and she certainly didn't want his tainted riches now. Leave it all for the new woman who'd taken her place by his side.

She mentally calculated how much money she had in her personal bank account that Christian insisted that she keep on top of their joint one. Her mind started to question his intentions on keeping "her" money separate from his own, after all the account had been opened for her in Christian's bank shortly after their marriage and there really wasn't a point to it unless…

No, she needed to kill those trains of thoughts as soon as they cropped up. What was important was how much money she could comfortably afford to spend monthly on rent, even if she was out of work for a few months. Luckily Christian had never been stingy, so as long as she was frugal, it would be quite a while before she was destitute, more than enough time to find herself a position comparable to the one at Grey Publishing, even if she found the job market to be hostile to a former Grey. If she needed to, she could always leave Seattle. She could leave Washington, even. Living closer to her mother might be good for her, and it wouldn't be hard for Christian to come and visit his son whenever he could take time away from GEH and his new love, not like it would be for someone who wasn't in possession of a personal jet.

Ana drifted away to thoughts of a new life, squashing all of her pain into a rock forming in the pit of her stomach and attempting to focus on the positive aspects of starting over again, trying to picture the best case scenarios for her new beginning.

* * *

Christian lied on his bed at Escala and stared at the ceiling, with Mandy asleep next to him, her head snuggled into the crook of his arm. He couldn't help but wonder how his wife and son were doing. He'd never been in the same city as his son and not shared a roof with him, and the feeling was unsettling. He wondered what kind of agreement he and Ana would come to regarding the custody of Teddy. He knew that he would have to concede a considerable amount of time to his estranged wife, as his company ate up many of his daylight hours, and it would make more sense to have the boy with his mother than with the daycare providers that he would be raised by if Christian had primary custody, but what about the weekends and holidays? Ana had never been vindictive before, but then, she'd never been cheated on and replaced before. What if her new boyfriend preferred that Teddy called him Dad, and tried to usurp his position with his son? Could he let that happen? Could he live with himself if knew that his son was being raised by another man and he'd done nothing to stop it, in fact he'd instigated the situation that brought it to pass?

He recalled the conversation with Mandy over dinner, when he brought up his fears for the future to her.

_4 Hours Prior_

"You knew that this was coming, Christian. We'd talked about you coming clean to Ana several times, and now the situation has resolved itself, as these things tend to do. Relax, please. Serious discussions over meals lead to nothing but indigestion."

Christian frowned. "I can't put my son out of my mind as if he were a business deal that's not going in my favor. The sooner that I can get the custody arrangement taken care of with Ana, the sooner I can see my son again. I've been neglecting him for months now, and it's wrong. I've been wrong. I need to ensure that my son has the best of everything, including time with his father, regardless of the status of my relationship with his mother."

Mandy put down her fork and treated Christian to a level glare. "Give the woman some time to regain her bearings, Christian. Her world just fell apart, even if she did see it coming two weeks ago."

"We're parents, Amanda. That means that we put aside whatever we're feeling and act in the best interest of our child, and it's in his best interest to have this matter resolved as soon as possible. I've already scheduled an initial appointment with the best family court lawyer in the state, and I'm sure that Ana has plans to contact her own representation soon, as well. I'm going to need to see that Teddy's bed here is adjusted to suit his new size. It's been a while since we've spent the night here as a family, usually just Ana and I would use it as a retreat for a night." Christian smiled at a memory, and Mandy frowned. "I'll contact Mia and see if she can help me decorate his new room to suit his interests. A playroom for the little man," they shared a smile at this, "might be in order, too. I think that I'll invite Mia over at her earliest convenience. It makes sense to begin introducing you to my family one by one, rather than overwhelming you all at once."

Mandy blanched, dropping her fork and pushing her plate away rather forcefully. "For chrissakes, will you slow down? Have I said anything about being ready to meet your family? I think that you should inform them of your separation and give them some time to get used to the idea before you start shoving a new relationship in their faces. And with Ana? Give the poor woman a break. She just learned that she was being replaced with a younger model, I doubt that she's ready to start hammering out the details. Is this really what you do? Steamroll over everyone in order to get your way?"

"Please don't speak about Ana like that. She wasn't replaced. We fell out of love. It was mutual."

"Don't fool yourself into believing that. Your wife became a mommy, and she lost your interest. I found it, having nothing in particular to impede me from devoting all my time to your every whim. Speaking of whims, I've raised my voice to you several times this evening. I can't imagine you letting me get away with such misbehavior."

Christian's reservations over Mandy's insights slipped to the back of his mind as his dick stiffened, and he threw his disobedient little girl over his shoulder and carried her to the playroom.

_Present Time_

Now Christian stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Mandy had passed out after several rounds of fucking in the playroom, and Christian had been the one to carry her to bed and climb in next to her. Rest never found him, though, as the truths of what she said were finding their way to him in the dark. He had grown tired of the mommy version of Ana, and the professional Ana, the sister-in-law Ana, the daughter-in-law Ana, all the different incarnations of his wife that didn't involve her being available to him at his every beck and call.

Christian had made a vow to himself as he sat alone in his suite after his first evening, and subsequent kiss, with Mandy. He was going to be more vigilant, and not allow himself to become ensnared into a position like he'd found himself in that day. He had a wife, whom he loved with everything in him. They'd hit a rough patch, and he'd heard of those before, through the overheard conversations of his employees and the friends of his parents. It was nothing that they couldn't work through. He would never, ever have any type of contact with Amanda Breen again.

He remembered the first time that he'd broken that vow.

_Five months Prior, One Month After Meeting Mandy_

"Dammit, Ana, I don't see what the point in my even coming home is if you're going to be heading out the door as soon as I come in it."

"I need you to be reasonable right now. This isn't about you or I, it's about a commitment that I made to _your_ mother, that I plan on honoring. I made you aware of my schedule for the entire week on Monday. I don't see how in the midst of all your controlling tendencies you could have forgotten that this is the evening that Grace expects me to co-host a fundrasing dinner benefitting the Seattle Women's Clinic. You know, the one that you told me on Monday that you'd be too busy to attend?"

Christian grimaced and turned away from his wife. Now that she mentioned it, he did remember her telling him about a fundraising dinner happening this week. He wasn't able to join her because he had gentlemen flying in from across the country to meet with him and he'd been obligated to join them for dinner; however, their trip had been postponed until the following week and Christian had begun planning an evening with his wife in the playroom at Escala. It had been too long since they'd last enjoyed each other thoroughly, their love-making consisting mainly of him bending Ana over whatever surface was available as they passed each other in the house, roughly fucking her from behind, then the two of them heading in opposite directions afterwards towards their next obligation.

"Cancel, Ana. Grace will understand. Tell her that Teddy's sick and you want to stay home with him."

"I used that excuse last week when he actually was sick and I missed the Ladies' Auxiliary meeting she'd been pressuring me to attend. She came to the house to check him over, remember? I can't cancel on her again so soon after the last time, Christian, not without a good reason."

Christian had only the vaguest recollection of what she was talking about, he spent the last two weeks obsessively going over every detail of the deal that he was supposed to have closed that evening. Ana took his confusion as acceptance, kissed her husband and grabbed her purse, following Sawyer, who'd been silently standing in the foyer waiting to see whether or not his services would be necessary.

Christian stormed to his office, not even noticing when Gail began to approach him with his son in her arms but choosing instead to turn away after seeing the look in his face, carrying the young man to his room and getting him ready for bed herself.

He settled down in front of his desk, the one that was only slightly less ostentatious than his desk at GEH. He was a staunch believer in the notion that the more power you presented with, the more power you wielded during negotiations. He fired up his computer and signed onto his e-mail account, sifting through the numerous pleas and inquiries, hoping to find something sufficiently time-consuming that it would take his mind off what was becoming of his marriage.

Sitting in his inbox under the guise of innocuousness was an e-mail from the office of Dean Andrew Miller, sent no doubt from the nimble fingers of Amanda Breen. He opened it and skimmed the information quickly, the University appreciates his taking time out his schedule to participate in the ceremony, they appreciate his continued patronage to their engineering department as well as their Biology department, should he ever be interested in seeing the fruits of his donations he was welcome to tour at any time.

Well that was interesting. He'd just taken a tour less than a month ago. Was this her subtle way of letting him know that she was still there, and waiting for him? He began composing his response, thinking about the next time that he would have a chance to travel.

* * *

_**I feel that I have to warn people that I update sporadically, in those rare instances where freetime and inspiration coincide. Please don't be upset with me for it. **_

_**I hope that the more I write, the more people will understand how the relationship between Christian and Ana fell apart. There are no villians in my story. Only real people that sometimes make poor decisions.**_

_**I know people saw Grace's transformation into Esme last chapter. Let's call that an homage to Master of the Universe, which I read while Icy was writing and is still my first point of reference for all things Fifty. It's not so much unintentional as it is unavoidable.**_

_**Thank you all for reading. I hope I don't disappoint.**_

_**Fifty Shades belongs to E.L. James. Or as I like to call her, Snowqueens Icedragon.**_


	7. Chapter 7

I'm sorry that I've abandoned this story. All the negativity sucked the fun out of posting chapters. I'm really not certain whether or not I'll continue. Wordrunner is writing an excellent story that mirrors everything that I wanted to convey to the readers in my story, including the irony of Ana opening Christian up to love and affection only to lose him when he starts exploring his new range of emotions with someone else, and she's been smart enough to leave the contentious parts of her story out and post them seperately. I'm sorry for those of you that I'm disappointing, but like I said, Wordrunner is writing the same thing, and doing a better job of it, so no ones really missing out.


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